For those of you who are familiar with the show Seinfeld, the subject of this post will make perfect sense. Since, however, I’m here to enlighten you all (ha-ha), I have found the portion of the epsiode from which I have taken this reference.
Jerry: So you won’t believe what happened with Whatley (a dentist) today. It got back to him that I made this little dentist joke and he got all offended. Those people can be so touchy.
Kramer: Those people, listen to yourself.
Jerry: What?
Kramer: You think that dentists are so different from me and you? They came to this country just like everybody else, in search of a dream.
Jerry: Kramer, he’s just a dentist.
Kramer: Yeah, and you’re an anti-dentite.
Jerry: I am not an anti-dentite!
Kramer: You’re a rabid anti-dentite! Oh, it starts with a few jokes and some slurs. “Hey, denty!” Next thing you know you’re saying they should have their own schools.
Jerry: They do have their own schools!
Okay, so now you are wondering where in the world this is even going and how it remotely relates to Quincy. First, I need to reiterate the subject – I am an anti-dentite. I do not like going to the dentist at all. I only go when I need to. Well, the time had come to take Quincy to the dentist for his first visit.
How in the world was I going to be able to hype up the great things at the dentist’s office?! Simple, let Dara do it. She has no fear or repressed memories about the dentist. She made going to the dentist sound like the best thing in the world. The main thing Quincy took away from all that Dara told him was that there were toys there. Yeah, well, my childhood dentist had toys too and let me tell you, that didn’t take away the noise of the drill or the smell of my teeth being ground into sub-atomic particles.
I was so nervous about going on this dentist visit that my original plan was to just wait in the car and let them go inside for it. You’ll be happy to know that I decided it was best to go inside and put on a brave face for him. It was a very nice office, for a dentist. That’s kind of like saying a broken leg is nice because it wasn’t a compound fracture. Anyways, the theme in the waiting room was decidedly Disney – mainly Mickey Mouse stuff, but not in a gaudy way. There was a TV playing Dora the Explorer and plenty of toys too.
How have pediatric dentists changed since the late ’70’s? Technology. No, not dental technology – those torture devices are still pretty much the same. I am referring to Quincy having his own LCD TV above him to watch while the hygienist was doing her thing. And how well does this distraction technique work? I would say great. They got to do everything that they needed to do. Quincy had his teeth scraped, brushed, polished, counted, indexed, the whole nine yards – all with minimal fussing from Quincy. For the record, he did bite down once on the hygienist – ata boy!
One thing that was really funny to me was the high level of energy and enthusiasm that both the hygienist and dentist had. I believe I described the dentist as highly caffeinated. I have no idea how they could maintain that energy level over a whole day. I guess I should also mention that Quincy’s teeth looked great – no decay, cavities, etc. Dara has a very rigorous hygiene program already in place. In the interest of full disclosure, I need to mention that I have been to our dentist here recently. The verdict? I just need a cleaning and to have two fillings fixed because they are cracked. So my plan of a cleaning twice a decade has worked out well so far.
So, Quincy did great and got off to a great start with his life-long relationship with dentists. I only wish I had that same opportunity. I blame my parents.